Finding Voice

When I was younger I used to be blustery and bold. I would say things for “shock” effect. I would show off my “smarts” in my forward “know-it-all” way. I would say what was on my mind and I didn’t care what anyone else thought.

Sometime during the later high school years, though, the boys (specifically a former boyfriend and his gang of dudes), started teasing me in English class. I was the English brain—I knew all the answers and I didn’t mind speaking up when no one else would. Ask me—who wrote the “Rime of the Ancient Mariner?” Samuel Taylor Coleridge—hands down. Oh, yeah. I’m good. Tell us what the poem is about. Oh, yeah…here it comes…my deep, philosophical answer…

But the teasing kicked in, and I didn’t like it. I didn’t want to be labeled a “geek,” especially not by a former boyfriend and his friends.

I had an “image” to protect.

So I silenced my voice. I piped down, shut down, shelled up and pulled back.

My writing became my voice. That boldness wasn’t completely lost, just funneled into a different medium. But it’s not enough. I want my voice back again. You know, looking back I’ve come to realize those boys were most likely teasing to provoke me—they wanted more, not less. And I’ve realized how incredibly hard it is to put breath back into a voice that has been quieted for so long. It can be done though.

Getting up on stage recently and giving voice to words of “EMPOWERMENT,” I have had the opportunity to re-launch my voice. There is power in finding voice and speaking out.

We all have experienced the silencing of our voices at one time or another. Maybe it was teasing that quieted us down. Maybe it was manipulation or abuse that shut us up. But when our voices are silenced something is missing.

We all have something to say. And when we tap into our voices—not to show off or gain attention, but to share the dreams and the creative vision we have for the world around us and to connect with others in deep and meaningful ways—incredible things happen.

We realize there is power in
Finding Voice.

Melissa
Editor
Chattanooga Teen Scene

*This selection is an editorial written for Chattanooga Teen Scene/February 2008 ©